Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Maybe blogging isn't for me

But it probably should be.

A few posts down, you have a lovely description of the enormous mess the recent hail storms have made out of our roof which I now have to get replaced and have yet to do. Well we came home from vacation on Monday and our fridge was broken. And now I feel broken. Under normal circumstances, a fridge is no big deal. A quick trip to Best Buy, Home Depot, Sears whatever and a quick financing option and 2 hours later, your problem is fixed. Except that's not really how our story went. The good news is, the money was there. Dennis has been working his little butt off and had the money coming in that was coincidentally almost the exact amount we needed for the fridge. From one angle, you may say "God is so good! He provided when we needed!" But unfortunately that is an angle I am not in view of at the moment. That money was very very very specifically designated for debt and I could not be more upset. I know in my heart that we are so much better off than most people our age--most people in general. But that is not the conviction God has laid on our hearts--that is not his will. (Rom 13:8) And every time we take a step toward what we feel is the right, I feel stripped away from it. I feel like I am being pulled away and my little nails are digging rifts in the foundation to our dreams, desperately trying to pull closer to what we think is the right way to go. I have no doubt in my mind that God has paved the road we are walking... I guess I just sometimes wish he had used stronger asphalt because this road I am walking on often feels like it is shifting beneath my already waivering step. I want to cry out to the heavens "God what is going on?" and I am reminded that he owes me nothing. Not even an explanation. It is I who am in debt. It is my worldly flesh that will continue to work for selfish gain time and time again. It is my sin that he bears over and over each day. And it is for the salvation of my soul that despite my wandering step that he continues to call me and seek me with each breath.

Anyway, all that to say, we got up very early Tuesday morning and bought a fridge before I had to go to KY to get Anakin. Then we bought him a little turtle (I will post pictures on my next post--Mr. Turtle is a post all for himself) that apparently carries salmonella and so now I can't even let Anakin touch him! I'm a good mother! HA!

So I am in KY right now, spending the time with the family and being reminded each day why I moved 400 miles away. I will try to be a better blogger for my all of 4 readers but I can't make any promises.

1 comment:

stella g. said...

5 readers! can i be 5? glad to have found your blog. sorry the money thing sucks. and sorry you're in KY. but you'll be home soon and your loving hubby will give you a big fat hug. love you!