I have an interview tomorrow...

Okay so about three weeks ago I went on good 'ol careerbuilder.com and posted my resume/application for a few jobs. I'm vague here because this is a usual routine for me. I take time about once a week or so to peruse the job postings and reply to what may fit what I'm "looking" for. I'm also using that word loosly because I'm not in any rush to get a job. Dennis could not be more supportive of me staying home and God has been so miraculous in opening doors for us to just plain work it out. I have been constantly reminded that he supplies. Anyway, so I didn't think anything about any of it, because if any of you have been job searching via the internet, you understand it is a very slow and often non-responsive process. So I got a call about two weeks ago from a company called United Stationers. They received my application... 'you did? okay, great. um who is this again?' She asked if I had time to talk, and I did. We did a quick phone interview where I answered the questions with the answers they want to hear but was careful not to be deceiving. And they wanted me to come in to take a customer service aptitude test that should take no longer than an hour. So I went in, wearing the only suit I own and a cute pink sweater vest under it. And I took the aptitude test that, for the record, took about 70 minutes, and thats it. There was no interview. No one really talked to me other than going over the weather and giving me a brief tour of the facilities (which were HUGE!) They seemed very impressed by my resume and assured they would call me back by Wednesday (which would have been two days after Labor day.) Well Wednesday passed while I was in Kentucky and Thursday and Friday followed shortly after. I talked to Dennis about it and we both agreed that the bottom line is, we just have to rely on God and whatever He has planned for us will prosper. Period. And so, with that, I didn't even do the usual follow up "hey I haven't heard from you but I'm still interested" call. And then yesterday... they called. Greg. He didn't give me a last name or even his title (thats weird...) but he asked if I was still interested. Yes. Can I come in Wednesday? Of course. Does 1:30 work for me? Perfect.

So, I am going to an interview tomorrow. Am I nervous? Not really. I'm pretty set that what happens will happen and I don't have a whole lot of control over it anyway. It's a kind of freeing helplessness that often reminds me how big God is and how big this world is and how very very small I am. I worked my butt off at my last job and for what? For a miserable 16 months that amounted to basically nothing. I'm not doing that again. I'm not living that life--I'm not going to be that person ever again. That person that wakes up in the morning and thinks of reasons to call in. I just want to go to work and do my job and cash my paycheck. I don't want a career, I don't want to be a manager, I just want to like what I'm doing. I'm so tired of looking over my back to watch who's stabbing. I'm so tired of corporate BS and the fake mask I have to wear. I am not that person. I can't be that person.

But...

I do need some money! So, even if just for a little while, if God opens the door for me to work, I will work. But our big goal right now is for me to go back to school. And if we are going to afford that, we have got to get out of debt. So... we'll see how tomorrow goes. I'll let all five of you know. :)