The words I'd never say

I imagine the scene in slow motion like a shot from A Christmas Story. It starts with the offense, Me telling Anakin not to touch something. He says "why?" and the the camera cuts to my face. "Because..." I begin. Close up of my mouth, the words slow and the tone deapens "I saaaaaiiiid sooooooo" with little bits of spit hitting the lens. The shot moves out again and despair is my replaced expression. Oh no. I said it. It's out there. The words are in the air, hanging like mournful reminders that I'm slowly becoming my mother.

At what point do we become those parents? I know what point it is. The point that our two year old thinks the word "why" is an accessory. He throws it out carelessly at every available opportunity and with all the excuses I can find, this is the only one that offers no rebuttle. Because I said so. It is momy law. I said so and that is all there is. It's like when God said let there be light. He said it and so it was. Why? Because he said so.

So perhaps when the camera pulls back out, my narrator, just like in the movie came on and said "oh no. I said it. I said THOSE words. I felt the shame burning in my chest. What do I do? I must recover." My eyes dart around and I search for an answer. "Because I said so, and what I say goes." "There." my narrator starts again. "That fixes it. Not only did I say so, but what I say goes. That's right. Mommy law. I win." My chest puffs out and I continue with what I was doing. The camera pans back to Anakin and he is defeated in his why quest. There.