Independence, and everything that comes with it.

Earlier this week I was laying on the couch watching TV in one of those rare moments I had time to catch up a little on my DVR. Anakin had asked me several times for some milk as he had just gotten up from his nap and milk is the next step in his daily routine. Apparently the show I was watching was getting good and I brushed him off till the next commercial break. Just as I was about to get out of my oh-so-comfy position to accommodate him, he emerged from the kitchen with a cup of milk.

"Where did you get that?" I asked him, my mind racing through where I might of left an old cup of milk and if he might actually try to drink it.

"From the pridgemator," he said matter-of-factly.

"You made it yourself?"

"Yes, Mommy. All by myself."

And as if I really didn't believe him, "Show me," I replied. He proceeded to demonstrate how he used his step stool that is normally in the bathroom to get onto the counter to climb up to the cabinet to get the cup, back down, over to the refridgerator (with the stool in hand), to climb up to the top shelf to get the milk and pour himself a cup of it on the floor. Just to encourage this display, he even took the hand towel hanging from the stove and "cleaned" up his imaginary mess as if he had spilled.

So since that day, when he asks me for milk, as long as the jug is not too full, I tell him he is welcome to get some himself and thank you for asking first. The independence is welcome.

However, with this independence came a clause. There is this same point in every mother's life, I imagine. I must say, I was unprepared. How is it this time came and no one warned me about it? Or maybe they did and the warning was so hidden I didn't recognize it for what it was. You know, like when you are pregnant for the first time and everyone says "life will be so different after you have a baby" and you really feel like telling them to shut up? Until you are three sleepless weeks in and suddenly realize what "different" really meant. Yeah, it's like that. It's that point when you realize you are the mother of a bona fide, home grown, honest-to-goodness KID. He's not a baby anymore. He's not a toddler. His clothes don't have cute little dinosaurs on them with over-sized pupils and little rounded teeth. The little puppies and fire trucks get replaced with transformers and Spiderman. You used to play hide and seek in one room. You count to ten and he lays down under the dining room chair as if you can't see him, and you pretend you can't for the novelty of it. If I tried to present this game to him now, he'd think I was crazy!

I look down at him on the kitchen floor, pretending to clean an imaginary puddle of spilled milk and my heart swells up with emotions I can't describe. Is this boy really the little thing I could hold in just two hands less than four years ago? Is this boy really that thing that kicked and moved and banged around inside me for months? And if it has only taken 4 years for him to be a little boy and not a baby, what will he be in 4 more years? He will be in 3rd grade, bringing home math homework. He'll be on the baseball team. He'll go fishing with his daddy on the weekends. Certainly by then he'll even have his own set of golf clubs. What then? Another 4 years and he'll almost be a teenager. Awkward and unkept. He'll have his own friends and his own interests and I'll have a whole new set of worries to keep me awake at night.

I take a deep breath and help him cap on the lid to his cup (independence doesn't always come with great motor skills) and I give him a hug and tell him "good job." And I stay kneeled there on my kitchen floor for just a moment. Just a moment long enough to remember. And I hold him in my arms and feel his little chest rise and fall against mine and cherish the warmth of his skin against my neck until he pulls away just a little.

"I love you, Mommy," he says with a smile.

"I love you, too... baby."

In the homestretch!

Progress...

is that what it's called? I wouldn't know. I hadn't seen it in a while... UNTIL TONIGHT! This is the quilt, pre-tree. What does that mean? you ask... It means, I will be appliqueing a tree right in the middle of this thing that will have branches that spread out onto the other squares and the center of the tree will have a picture of my parents. Then I will applique some leaves. Yeah... I took on way too much. But it's almost over. I only took one large shot because you can always click on it and see the close ups through picasso. I'd like you to notice that my brother paul's square (top right) is doing all kinds of damage to my otherwise pretty perfect quilt. I think it's ironically appropriate that his square has given me the most trouble. I tried to fix it. SEVERAL times. Then I gave up. Because in the end: no one will care. Anyway, Dennis is helping me tomorrow make my little tree into a big tree so I should have something to post on that front in the next few days.

squares 3 and 4

This is a joint post because I wised up and figured out that if I did two squares at once, it decreased my work time tremendously. Both squares only took me about 3 hours or so, versus the one square taking me two. Of course, that one square also had to have about 5 seams ripped and I only had to rip one seam, one time on this last square. In fact, square three (the one with the light green) was so easy, I thought maybe God was working miracles on my sewing machine. And then square 4 happened and I think I might have had a crisis of faith 3/4ths of the way through. Anyway, these are the 4 generic squares. I'm going to head to a friend's house to print the pictures in the next day or two so the other squares should be done shortly.

Square #2

I'm excited, this only took me 2 hours to do. It helped that I knew what I was doing and I set up a good routine of going upstairs to iron, then sewing everything that needed to be ironed, then going upstairs to iron then... well you get the idea. I can always set up the iron downstairs but here's the bottom line. If I burn the carpet upstairs, I'm the only one that knows about it.

Here is the second general square:

The measurements are still a little off but it's better. By the time I get to square #8 it should be just about perfect! right?! RIGHT?!

Here is a close up of the fabrics. I think they look awesome. This is also the other khaki color I am alternating with. The greens will be different for every square but I'm only alternating between the two khaki colors.


Since it only took me about two hours to do this one, I figure I can do one a day and be done by next week! Then I can get to the hard stuff! I'll keep you guys updated!

Sew on, baby, sew on!!

I realize it's been a month since my last post again, but in my defense, I'm a bad blogger. Wait... that's not what I meant to say.

So, for the last few weeks, this has been me:


I'm trying to design a quilt for my mom for Christmas. I don't think my dad reads this anymore so I think this is safe space to post this. I got done with my first square yesterday. The measurements are a little off but this is my first patchwork quilt so if it is great, then the stars have aligned but if not, then it will still be okay. I made a few calls to my friend Karen about fabric choices and measuring tips and inthe end, this is my first square:
And here is a close up look at the fabric:


Like I said, the measurements ended up just a little off but it looks pretty good. I'll be switching out the tan pieces with another tan based fabric I chose and the greens will be switched out. The four corners of the quilt will have pictures of the children (there are 4 of us) with their families in the center portion of the square and the middle will have a picture of my parents together. I'll be finishing it off with a tree applique and leaves branching out between the families. It's gonna look awesome if I can just pull it off. I'm doing well considering school is pretty light this quarter and I don't think I'm going to have any issues finishing it, I'm just not sure how I want to display it. I'm thinking a frame but I can always loop it at the top and hang it instead. Not sure yet.

Week of Hell

Monday - go to dentist for check up at 10am. Leave with 4 implanted antibiotics, a jar of prescription mouth rinse and a root canal.
Tuesday - entire city is under water. literally. below is a picture of six flags from satellite. the estimated total loss is 12 billion dollars.

Wednesday - lay around the house all day in immense pain, praying for the day to come and go quickly.
Thursday - get the call about Gramma passing around 7am. Realize after intense pain episode, that I shouldn't be in this much pain and decide to call doctor in the morning.
Friday - go back into dentist to have root canal redone.
Saturday - leave for Montgomery
Sunday - viewing
Monday - funeral
Tuesday - start school.

When this week is over: It's erased.